DO THE FOLLOWING

Express your condolences - It is not easy to come up with the words to offer sympathy to someone who has just lost a loved one. You don't need to be a poet simply saying something Like ‘I am sorry for your Loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family’ is enough. If you can't be at a funeral service in person, sending a card or leaving a message on a memorial website is the perfect way to express your sympathy.

Dress appropriately - Gone are the days of dressing up in all black for a funeral, but jeans and a t-shirt isn't exactly acceptable either. You should still dress appropriately, wearing what you would wear for a wedding or a job interview would be the most appropriate.

Sign the registration book – The family will keep the registration book as a memento for years. Be sure to include your full name.

Give a gift - You don’t need to go overboard with your gift, after all It Is the thought that counts. Suitable gifts Include; flowers, a donation to [he charity of the family’s choice. Or you can make a comment or service to the family at a later date. A Commitment of service can be something as little as cooking them dinner or offering to clean up their house. Make sure you provide a signed card, so the family knows who gave the gift.

Keep in Touch: You may feel that the family needs their space and time to grieve, but a simple phone call or note after the funeral let the family know you care. With social networking leaving a quick note is as simple as a click of a mouse. The months following a death is when grieving friends and family need the most support.

DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING

Bring your cell phone - Your phone ringing will be highly inappropriate and will cause a disturbance, so turn any ringers or notifications off. Even better, leave your phone at home or in your car. A funeral is not the time to be texting or checking your messages.

Allow your children to be a distraction - From a very young age children are aware of death and if the funeral is for or someone that was close to them, (grandparent, aunt uncle) they should be given the option to attend. However, if it is not appropriate for your child to be there, and if you feel they will cause a commotion leave them with a babysitter.

Be afraid to remember the good times - Funerals are obviously a time of grieving and mourning but remembering the good times helps with the healing process. Sharing a funny and appropriate story is acceptable, and in some cases exactly what the deceased would have wanted.

Overindulge - If food or drink is served, do not overdo it. Have a bite to eat before you go to the service, you do not want to be that guy parked at the snack table, If alcohol is served, limit yourself to one or two, do not become inebriated and risk doing something inappropriate.

EULOGIES & NOTICES

HOW DO I WRITE A EULOGY?

Giving a meaningful moving eulogy can be a nerve-wracking Situation for even the most accomplished public speaker, but it need not be. How can you summarize somebody’s life in a few short minutes, while being both sombre and funny at the same time? Writing and delivering a eulogy is a therapeutic tool to help deal with your grief and being chosen to give a eulogy is an honor and should be treated that way. Here are some tips for writing and delivering an eloquent and memorable eulogy.

Gather Information. Talk with family members close friends and Co-workers to get important information on the deceased. Some Important Information to include in the eulogy is the person's family and other close relationships, their education/career, hobbies, or special interests, places the person lived or travelled too, and any special accomplishments they had.

Organize your thoughts- Jot down your ideas by whatever means are most comfortable and familiar to you Create an outline of your speech and fill in the information that you gathered about the person.

Write it down. This is not a toast at a wedding where you can make off the off remarks. And you should not adlib eulogy. Writing it all down allows you to include and remember every detail you wanted in your eulogy. When you bring a copy of your eulogy to the podium make sure it is easy to read, print it out in a large font, or it is hand-written leave a few spaces between the lines. Keep In mind your time constraints, It's best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers.

Review and Revise. Your first draft will not be the last. When you think you are done, sleep on it and look it over in the morning when it is fresh again, that will be the time to make any necessary revisions.

Practice, Practice, Practice. Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it. Practice in front of a mirror, read it over to some friends or family and have them give you feedback. Become familiar with your speech so you Can recite it without making it look like you're reading from a script. The More you practice the more comfortable you will be.

Make them laugh but be respectful. A funeral is not a roast, however there is room for humor in your eulogy. Fondly remember a story about a person that everyone can relate too. Keep it appropriate there will be children and the elderly there that may not share the same sense of humor. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and some well-placed humor will help people cope, and will bring back fond memories of the deceased.

Don't be afraid to show emotion, Funerals are an extremely emotional event, nobody expects you not to shed a few tears. However, if you feel that you will be too strongly overcome by your emotions, have a back-up plan in place where someone you trust can deliver the eulogy for you. Give them a copy well in advance if you feel this could be an Issue. Have a glass of water as well as tissues handy.